The E-Coli bacteria quietly lives in the intestines of humans and animals and with great regularity seems to flair up. It can be found in a whole host of foods and cause severe illness in thousands of people if those foods are not properly washed and handled.
I don't know how to break this to you E-coli but, you're not well-liked. You're the Bush Administration of the bacteria world. The two of you have a lot in common -- you're both sneaky and deadly. The only difference is you definitely have an exit strategy.
The Irish. Freud said the Irish are impervious to psychotherapy. But he didn't say they're impervious to makeovers. In this piece, I am going to make over not just the Irish people, or Irish culture, but also Ireland itself.
Ireland, you've given us so many wonderful Irish phrases, like "Kiss Me, I'm Irish," "Top o' the mornin' to ya" and "Aagh! It's a car bomb."
You're the land of alcohol and hard-to-read novels. You're like an entire nation built on my sophomore year in college.
President Bush has one of the lowest approval ratings in history. There's not much I can do to improve his image, but Bush's grim reality brings to mind that there are many Presidents throughout history with low approval ratings and I thought I'd make over the images of some of those Chief Executives.
Take Thomas Jefferson, now Mr. Jefferson, your image as a brilliant founding father has been tarnished for having sex with women you owned. Today women run FOR President whereas in your day they ran FROM one.
We can spin this positive, you weren't a misogynist ... you were a TRUE pioneer by starring in the very first dramedy, called "Desperate House Slaves."
Let me start by saying personally, I enjoy global warming. It's hot, controversial, it's in a movie - it's the Jenna Jameson of environmental catastrophes.
Scientists say global warming will hurt the food supply. I don't see how - all our food will be pre-cooked. We'll pick baked apples off the tree; live turkeys will baste in their own juices. Things will be grilled right ON George Foreman.
Check out my latest Makeover from Thanksgiving below! Download the shows you want from the audio page and upload them to your MP3 player of choice. Happy Holiday! - Paul
Here's my latest Image Makeover from The Bob & Tom Radio Show about the holiday season. Did you know that you can also download all my Image Makeover segments on the audio page of my site? That's my gift to you all this holiday season. Happy Holidays! - Paul