Paul Mecurio

Senator Barrack Obama distanced himself from his long time friend Rev. Wright last week, calling his recent speech at the National Press Club, "Appalling and destructive." When you‘re a politician, you are held accountable for the people you associate with, yet nobody has ever held me accountable for the lunatics I call friends and family. And I think it is high time that they did. So here is a list of people that I have known that I hereby denounce and disassociate myself from:

1. Billy Peterson. Who in the fourth grade stole a bite of Susie Geller's bologna sandwich. His actions were uncalled for and not in keeping with my beliefs. I hope in the future people will not look at me and think, "There is a man who thinks stealing bites of bologna is ok." It is wrong and frankly un-American.

2. My Uncle Louie. Who when I was a teenager used a racial slur against the ancient Peruvians. It's not a common term but it was widely used in the 5th century in what is now Brazil. The word was "Azxcetrty" which roughly translated means jungle pansy. My Uncle was a good man and he was not a racist, but he was a man of his time. Or rather a time he would rather be in, which was 5th century Brazil. And he drank a little...

3. My Building Superintendent. I have no idea what his name is. But let's, for the sake of argument, call him Kenny. I have known "Kenny" for over 10 years now. And during those 10 years I have heard Kenny engage in sexual acts in his apartment. I have heard the sounds of women laughing. I have heard the sound of men grunting. And on a few occasions I have heard a chicken clucking. But I did nothing. People may wonder how I could just sit there and not do anything for 10 years. And to those people I say, "He's the Super, for God's sake." Do you think I'm going to change the light bulb in the stairwell? For this I am deeply sorry. And I can assure you, I will no longer put that glass to the wall that connects our apartments...