Paul Mecurio

Paul Mecurio Sexes Up Global Warming’s Image

Funny man Paul Mecurio has made his attempt to give Global Warming an Image Makeover. He recently revealed his plans on the Bob & Tom Show. (Listen here)

He says that we need to make it sexier:

"Like ethanol-nothing sexy about that. But Ethanol is alcohol and like other alcohol it should be marketed to teenagers. Create cars for today’s young, hip ethanol consumer. Like the Ford Lohan, a car that runs on as much alcohol as she does. Or the Toyota Nicole Richie. If you fill it with the wrong fuel, you stick two fingers down the tank and it comes right back up."

Paul goes on to say that "An Inconvenient Truth is un-cool with its G rating. An Unrated version should be released with “deleted scenes like Al telling us to save water by showering with a friend, as we cut to the Vice President soaping up Jessica Biel and Jessica Simpson.”

And no one can seem to forget Sheryl Crow’s “one square” remark…especially not Mecurio saying, “Joe Six Pack, and his wife, Mrs. Six Pack, don’t want to hear Sheryl Crow telling them to use one square of toilet paper while she wipes herself with the hands of a small Bolivian houseboy. I do give Sheryl credit though. She’s an authority on getting a lot of crap on a single piece of paper. I know … I’ve read her lyrics.”

Listen to the entire bit on PaulMecurio.com.

How I Single-Handedly Stopped a Train and Lived to Tell About It: A True Story

Guest Blog by Paul Mecurio

Superman may have been more powerful than a locomotive, but the Man of Steel never did what I did last week - single-handedly stop Amtrak.

How did I pull off this act of heroism? Was I like that mythical woman everyone always talks about who lifted a car off her son, saving his life?

Well, no. I accomplished this superhuman feat by getting into an argument with the conductor. Not quite in the same category as Superman battling Lex Luthor, but it was close.

They've Got Jokes

Phillyist.com | June 15, 2007

We were seated in the third row. And we were afraid, very afraid. Because the closer you are to the stage, the higher the chance the comedian is going to shit on you. With jokes on your outfit, your choice of companion, your very being. Luckily for us, we were sitting behind one of opener Paul Mecurio's relatives, so he generally shied away from our side of the theatre. The other side, not so lucky.

There was the tanned, hirsute gentleman accused of being a terrorist. There was the Siemens Medical executive blamed for everything that's wrong with healthcare today. There was the fun-loving older woman asked to share how much gin she'd had to drink that day. Then there was Alistair. Poor Alistair. Who'd had the misfortune, not only of name, but of having fallen over the handlebars of his bike earlier that week. Mecurio had a lot of fun at Alistair's expense. In fact, we all did. Dudes named Alistair who try to outjoke the comedian deserve to be laughed at. Heartily. And with relish.

Mecurio was hilarious. His sharp riffs on the audience members were like the comic version of freestyle. He pulled an old guy out of the audience who was wearing nuthuggers and tried to convince the guy to hold up his leg so everyone could see his balls. If you've read any of our posts, you'll know that this humor is right up our alley. We couldn't breathe by the end of his set.

Q&A: Daily Show Comedian Paul Mecurio

Phawker.com | June 8, 2007

PHAWKER: You gave up a successful career as an investment banker on Wall Street to become a comedian - a profession that pays migrant worker wages to most of its practitioners. How come? Is your mom still pissed?

PAUL MERCURIO: I really got a connection from creating jokes out of thin air and having people respond to them. There was nothing like that feeling on Wall Street.

Paul Mecurio Tells Us How It Hangs

Phillyist.com | June 7, 2007

CampusPhilly.org: Interview with Paul Mecurio

by Brittany Sturges, Temple '08

Paul Mecurio began a career on Wall Street, but gave it up to pursue his passion-comedy. Now, the award-winning comedian is traveling the country performing stand-up. The Daily Show alum recently finished shooting a pilot for his new show Sports Central.

Campus Philly asked him a few questions about his career switch, his comedy, and his thoughts regarding the Philadelphia Phillies' upcoming 10,000 loss.

Paul Mecurio is only saying this for your own protection: Make sure you spell his name right.

‘‘It's M-e-c-u-r-i-o," he intones, and just when you think he's being serious he adds, deadpan, ‘‘There's a Paul Mercurio online, some kind of ballet dancer, in tights ... y'know?

‘‘That's not me."

PEORIA | April, 2007 - Living a double life is not the easiest thing in the world to do, but that is exactly what comedian Paul Mecurio did for years while trying to decide whether he wanted to be an attorney on Wall Street or a successful comedian.

Creative Loafing Sarasota | April 19, 2007: The guy above is Paul Mecurio, who got his start as a writer on The Daily Show after he quit his job as a Wall Street dude to become a comedian. He is, as far as I know, the only person in recorded history to choose banking, make a bunch of money trading and still leave for something that makes him happier than greenbacks. Mecurio is, in short, a hero.

By: Ben Kharakh | April 13, 2007

Veteran stand up Paul Mecurio once left behind a comfortable life of sensational Wall Street bonuses to pursue the call of comedy. Paul got his early start crafting jokes for Leno and soon found himself on the fledgling writing staff of The Daily Show.